January Blues? No Thanks!!

Hello Everyone, 

So January is almost over, today is the 26th- the 26th of January, today I actually can not believe it!! It seems like only yesterday was New Years Day.. 

Some of ye may be aware that I re-joined my class on Wednesday the 7th of January and I am so happy that after two weeks I have lost 7 pounds!! 

I feel really determined right now however so many times I have achieved the half a stone award and then all of a sudden the self-sabotage button in my brain goes off and I'm back to square one again!! 

So this time I need to stay focused and so I have decided that I am going to aim to lose 10% of my weight now I know that when I first heard 10% I said to myself "well 10% isn't an awful lot I won't need to lose that much weight to get 10 %" but then I sat down and did the maths and well I was shocked by just how much weight I needed to lose to get to that 10%. Some of you may be asking "why just pick 10%", the reason is very simple- it is proven by doctors that if a person loses 10% of their weight it reduces all our health risks by 50%!!! That's cutting our health risks in half, when the doctor told me I have to be honest I sat there in a state of shock, I think it took a few minutes for it to sink in what they were saying, but when I did actually realize what they were saying I was determined to get the that 10% mark and cut all those risks in half!!!

I had an appointment at a dietician a while back and she gave me a handout regarding self-control techniques for people with eating problems. I'm going to just go through what it said and maybe add in a bit of how I deal with certain scenarios! As you read them yourself just think about what it's saying and see can you make any changes to your lifestyle, you never know it might help you lose a few extra pounds!!! 

1. Limit the amount of bingeable food in the house- Always put the food in the press and keep it out of sight! 

If your anything like me I think its important to keep all the yummy treats just out of the way or don't buy them at all!, as the saying goes "out of sight, out of mind". 
We're human, we're not made of steel so if we see something nice on the table or right in front of us when we open the press we're going to want to eat it and if you don't well you should write a book or make a potion with all your secrets you'd make millions! 
So make wise choices, it will be of benefit to the whole house and the feeling of control when you make that choice will give you a boost in terms of motivation and dedication you'll feel on top of the world and feeling like you can win the battle with the bulge (and you can, I believe in you and so many around you do too, now it's up to you to jump on the bandwagon)

2. Use Foods that require preparation time prior to eating rather than food that can be eaten immediately 

Convenience foods are not good for us- they are usually full of sugar, salt, additives and other things that do not sit well with our bodies, they are handy and I'm not saying never buy convenience foods ever again because sometimes life can be so busy and we do anything to just keep up with the hustle and bustle but maybe try to start introducing more home made meals from scratch. I know one of my new years aims was to cook more, I have started, I'm not going to lie and make myself out to be a Nigella Lawson because I'm far from it, in fact sometimes I get so disheartened with myself because it takes so long to make a dinner but I persisted and I think it has paid off because I am getting quicker at chopping vegetables! Plus I think that when I prepare my food I enjoy it much more.

3. Write a shopping list and stick to it!

This one speaks for itself really. Its so easy to go into the supermarket with the list memorized in our mind and then see the special offers and bam the shopping list is thrown to the side and the trolley is full of special offers, and sometimes these special offers are not the best choices for us if our goal is to lose weight! So write a list on a piece of paper and stick to it. I have started doing this and I find it really helps to tick off the stuff as I go along but I have to admit its very hard to pass by the chocolate on offer but I'm doing well so far!!

4. Avoid Shopping on an empty stomach 

Too many times I was caught with this one, I'd go shopping starving, get stuff I didn't want, stuff I certainly didn't need usually it would be chocolate or the cookies from lidl or Tesco (God they were like little drops of heaven!!), they wouldn't even make it to the house because I would eat the lot on the way home! (I'm not proud of it but I can't change it now) whereas now I make sure I eat before going and if I feel like I want something I get grapes or something that I can have to keep me going!

5. Do not engage in any other activity while eating such as watching TV or reading.

Once again I am guilty of both of these!! I always have the television one when eating, it's very rare that I wouldn't so my goal for February is to turn off the tv when eating and focus entirely on the food in front of me

6. Confine eating to a specified place in the house

Everyone will have a different place, it doesn't matter where it is just make sure that you choose one place and try to eat there all the time.

7. Practice leaving a small amount of food on your plate

I find this very hard I have to say, I grew up in an environment where I was always told to eat everything on my plate and when I didn't it was nearly a sin so now I have to reverse that mentality and realise that it's ok to leave something on my plate- I am trying to do it and it's something I aim to work on!

8. Eat slowly, put your knife and fork down between mouthfuls.

This, like leaving something on the plate is something I struggle with, I do not eat slow, if there was a gold medal for eating fast I think I would win, but since going back to class and getting back on track I have tried eating slower- to be fully hones its not going spectacularly well, I'm fine the first few mouthfuls and then I forget myself, I look down at the empty plate and think "s**t I forgot to put down the knife and fork" but it's too late at that stage so I just try again at my next meal, often resulting in the same scenario happening ha ha!

9.Prepare a list of alternative activities incompatible with eating for times when you know that you are going to be at greatest risk.

I have done this, there is one part of the evening when my appetite increases so much it's usually around the 7.30 pm mark so now I read a book, I find reading a great distraction and now anytime I feel the munchies ready to attack I get my book and focus on that and soon my cravings are gone, reading isn't for everyone so maybe think of something else it could be painting, phoning a friend, going for a walk, taking a bath, knitting, meditating (something I want to start) whatever it may be just have it on hand for when the cravings kick in!!

10. Remind yourself of what can happen if you eat too much. Think of the long-term effects rather than the short-term pleasures.

This is so easy to do in theory but when tempted with nice foods it's hard to think beyond the food in front of you, I have started just thinking of the green dress I got on New Years Eve (I talk about it in the previous blog) and it seems to work I'm very surprised because I know for a fact a few months ago that would not of sopped me from eating the sweets so I do actually believe my mindset has changed! 

Now I'm not saying you should try to do all of the above at once, we have to remember we are only human, we cannot do everything together but I hope that at least one of the points on the list strike a cord with you and I hope you can incorporate it into your weight loss journey. I know when I got the list it took me a while to get my head around it all, I've heard it so many times but still to see it all written down something clicked with me and I knew that if I wanted to make a change in my life I'd have to change my lifestyle and the above points are helping  me so far anyway! 

I hope ye found this helpful and I just want ye to know that if at anytime ye feel ye're motivation dipping or just want to rant about a bad week or ask anything I'm here, now I might not be any good but I will honestly try my very best, we are all on the same journey, our paths might take us on different routes but we're ultimately all aiming for the one destination so never feel you are on your own.

(e-mail: littlemisssunshineisshrinking@gmail.com)

I hope ye are all getting on well in ye're weight loss journey.

A thought for the day: "Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable"

Stay Strong,
Take it one step at a time,
Little Miss Sunshine
xxxx

First Weigh-in after Christmas!!

Hi Everyone,

This week I went back to class after nearly 6 weeks of being off! And everyone knows the longer your off the harder it is to go back!

I dreaded going back, several times on the Wednesday I was thinking "Will I or Won't I?!", I was coming up with ways of prolonging the agony i was all day convincing myself that the weather was too bad to be going anywhere (it wasn't that bad but when you know there's a scales waiting to take your weight the weather suddenly turns into a major red alert storm!)

Class was at 5.30 so I just bit the bullet and went for it, I had not been at this specific class in nearly nine months because I had to change classes to suit my work etc but I love this specific class, it's fun, everyone is so supportive and there's a lovely atmosphere at the meeting, I was nervous but when I went in people were welcoming me back and I felt so comfortable, it was this time last year I joined that particular class and I remember saying "this time next year I will be so different" well it's this time now when I should be so different but I haven't changed a bit in terms of weight but I know in terms of me mentally and emotionally I have come on leaps and bounds so I think that's a positive- I worked so hard over the past year to get to the stage I am at, I know I didn't achieve my goal weight but that's ok 2016 is my year to focus on that!

I was pleasantly surprised as I stayed the same weight over Christmas, I was so happy with that because on Instagram I saw people with various gains ranging from half a pound up to 15 pound and to be honest I thought I would be the one to have 10 or 12 pounds up after Christmas so I was so happy with my maintain and looking back I was eating more but I was certainly more aware of what I was eating and the amount of food I was eating, I also exercised so I think all this worked in my favour!

The maintain gave me a little confidence boost and I felt such a sense of optimism about my weight loss, I am determined and even if I go off track my new mantra is "It's ok, what's done is done, I'm going to start from my next meal", I find this great because usually if I went off track I would say I would start the next day which would never happen and I would go off track for a few days but now I start again at my next meal!

My last blog post was about the things I want to achieve during 2016 and they're never too far from my mind, I have to say this is the first year that I seem to really be determined to achieve these goals so I am happy about that!

My aim this year is to change my whole outlook regarding the way I look at food, I am an emotional eater for sure- I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad, tired, nervous, excited- my whole world just revolves around food and what I'm going to eat next so that has to change- yes we need food to survive and to be healthy and well but we need the right foods and we certainly don't need to be thinking of food 24/7!! I want to change my whole relationship with food, I am going to change my relationship with food. It will take time but that's ok this is a whole lifestyle change, it's not going to happen over night! even though I must say I am guilty of wanting everything to be done in an instant, with very little effort it would be my dream to wake up tomorrow morning and fit into size 12 jeans but I know it doesn't happen like that (if only!!!!!)

It is important to eat healthy and make wise decisions, we are not on a diet, I repeat this is not a diet, diets are often very strict and this makes them very hard to follow in the long term, they're grand for a few weeks because everything is new and the weight is flying off  and its all great, but after a few weeks the novelty wears off, the weight loss slows down and the will-power decreases.
I know this because too many time I have fallen into this trap, you name it I've done it- shakes, meal substitutes, no card, low fat, tablets- everything!, with each of these diets it meant I was restricting myself of something whether it be bread, pasta, sweets, or food altogether, it didn't work, when I'm told I can't have something it's the very time I want it more than anything so this time I am going to eat healthy and have everything in moderation, I've tried everything else so I might as well give this a shot now!

I'm aware that there may be people reading this who are just feeling a little "blah" after the Christmas and the last thing they want to do is go back but please think of what a difference it would make to you, I saw something recently and I think it was lovely:

Never think you can't do anything- you can, it might not be as quick as others but that's ok chip away at it one bit at a time and you will achieve great things. Remember "ships don't sink because of the water around them, ships sink because the water gets in them, don't let whats happening around you get inside you and weigh you down" This is your journey, no one elses, so do what's best for you and only you, you will thank yourself wen you achieve your dreams and goals!!

Remember if you do go off plan "It's ok, what's done is done, I'm going to start from my next meal"

Have a good week everyone! 

Take it one step at a time,

Little Miss Sunshine xxx

2016...The Year of the Green Dress...

Hi Everyone!

Wow the last time I wrote a blog was the 23rd of August! Four months ago I can't believe just how quick the time is going! I do hope each and every single person who is reading this had a lovely Christmas and that it was all ye had hoped for and more....

I also hope that ye have had success at the scales since I was talking to ye last! 

So, the last time I wrote a blog I was doing very well on my weight loss journey, I was planning my meals, tracking everything I ate, exercising, drinking water, I had lost nine pounds in a matter of weeks, I was like a model weight loss student- I was blissfully happy with my progress and very optimistic about my future... fast forward two weeks on from the 23rd of August, my journey took a bit of a detour...

I had been undergoing tests for a few weeks regarding my thyroid as it is under active and even with medication I can not seem to get it under control, I had tests to check for certain hormones in the body, one evening the doctor rang and said that the tests came back and the level of Cortisol in my body was quite high and I would have to undergo more tests to determine just how serious the situation was,

I got off the phone from the consultant and that is when I pressed pause on my weight loss, I lost focus immediately and thought "what's the point?" I was quite naive as I didn't think about the hormone until I met with the consultant again and when I did I was completely overwhelmed by all the information I was given the next few months involved a series of tests, scans, and consultations but thankfully everything came back ok and although I have a few minor tests to still undertake in the new year the major tests have been carried out and rule out anything serious! 

Over the past few months I have had serious time for reflection.. the call from the doctor frightened me into seriously assessing what exactly it is I want out of my life and when I ask myself that question my initial response is to "be healthy and fit" and currently I am neither of them so I had to make some serious life changes and one was to give up my job. Making a big life change is very scary but do you know I believe that regret is even scarier so I just knew I had to take the risk and move on.....

Anyone that knows me knows that I feel very passionate about my job and career, I loved working as a childcare practitioner but I was five years working in the setting and I had become very comfortable and content in my surroundings, which is great but I knew that if I didn't take charge now that I would keep putting on weight and I would never get the chance to have the life that I so desperately crave. 

It was an emotional few months in the run up to me leaving work and there were times when I was seriously reconsidering but I kept thinking of the ultimate goal and I knew that it was the right time. 

I finished work on the 23rd of December and on that day I was such an emotional wreck. I will miss my work, each child that has been in my care over the past five years has taught me something, they've inspired me, motivated me, gave me confidence when nobody else did and they provided unconditional love each and every day, I have made memories that will remain with me for ever  but I am a firm believer in fate and I know that when one door closes another one opens and the day I sat in my car after finishing work, I drove home in floods of tears but when I got home I felt a sense of excitement- excitement at the thought of what lies ahead for me in the future!

Christmas came and went in a haze, it was lovely and peaceful, new years eve also came and went, it a night that I personally find very emotional so I don't make a big deal about it, I let it come and go then after midnight I watched the fireworks light up the streets from around the globe, they're so bright and beautiful and they made me feel very optimistic about what 2016 has in store for me..

Now I know that with the new year comes the new years resolutions, this year I am just writing a list of things that I hope to achieve for 2016, I plan to take a few months off so I can fully focus on my weight loss, I have no excuse now so its full steam ahead!!!

The things I hope to achieve this year are:

• I want to blog more, I had promised to do it a few months back but life just got too hectic so I'm hoping that with my time off it will give me the time to blog, I want to share every detail of my journey with you, the good, the bad and the ugly!!

• I have an Instagram account ( littlemisssunshineisshrinking- feel free to follow me!) I want to put photos up of my daily meals and post inspiring quotes daily

•  I want to plan my meals and keep a food diary each and every day, I want to drink more water and eat more fruit as I'm not really a lover of fruit

• I want to use my Fit Bit and track my progress and add that to my Instagram account, my aim is to walk 10,000 steps each day so hopefully I get that everyday!

• I want to do at least 30 minutes of the treadmill everyday as well as doing weights and doing one of my exercise DVD's

• I want to complete the couch to 5k plan as well as doing a 10k in June (I will get fit in 2016!!)

• I want to travel more, go to more concerts, go to the cinema more and just in general do things that people my own age do!

• I want to read more books- reading is something I used to love and enjoy immensely however I never seemed to have the time so reading is something I really want to do more of.

• I want to write a set of goals at the beginning of each new month and I want to stick to the goals and achieve each of them whatever they may be!

• My ultimate goal is to fit into a dress I bought on New Years Eve, it was a dress I was looking at for months and when I saw it on sale I just had to buy it! There is a catch though- it's about five sizes too small for me so my aim is to wear that green dress next New Years Eve and I will wear it!!

The above are only a few of the things I want to achieve in 2016 and I believe that this year is my year to do all this, it will take a lot of hard work and  I'm sure there will be tears involved as well as sweat and the occasional curse word thrown in for good measure! But I know that when I achieve my goal weight I will have achieved something that I have wanted my whole life and I will get there. 

2016 is not just another year, it is a new beginning, a new opportunity, a chance to leave the past in the past, its a new opportunity for us all to become who we want to be, a time for us to achieve our dreams and aspirations, leave behind all the negative energy in our lives and embrace all things that are positive... 

Each and Everyone of us right now have a choice- Do we want to become the best possible person we can be or do we want yet another year of just existing and not living the life we want and deserve?? The choice is yours and yours alone.. your present circumstances don't determine where you go they merely determine where it is that you start so take the risk today, lets all embark on this journey together and lets make 2016 a year that we will never forget

We can do this one pound at a time...

One Step at a Time...

Stay Strong...

Little Miss Sunshine

xxxx

Turn them Negatives into Positives.... TODAY!

Hello Everyone,

Hope ye are all keeping well since the last time I was speaking to you, it was nearly a month now... I can not believe just how quick the time is going, so much has happened since I last wrote the blog...

As you may or may not remember my last blog post was a full on rant really- I was so fed up with how I was getting on in my weight loss journey, I had aches and pains everywhere, especially in my foot and I was just getting heavier and heavier and I was completely and utterly lost....

In that blog post I set out on a little task, I decided that on that day I would stop feeling down, living in the past, putting things off, I also decided to stop feeling like I was a failure, I stopped thinking about all the things that happened long ago and I tried to stop thinking that I couldn't do anything right,

I must say that by even making these few changes in my routine it has made such a huge difference to how I feel about everything in my life. I have also had a few non-scale victories because of it.

I went to see Ed Sheeran in Croke Park in the end of July and I stayed in a hotel, although some people may see these as just part of normal life they meant so much more to me and I know that for most people they wouldn't bat an eyelid at the thought of staying away or going to a concert but to me it was a major deal. The week before I had thought several times that I couldn't do it and I know that everyone thought I was going to back down because usually I would but this time I even surprised myself,  I took a risk and I went and I thoroughly enjoyed it and even writing about it now I feel such a sense of pride in the knowledge that I did it and everything went well and I know that the next time I go I won't be as nervous or anxious (I hope!!).

By going to the concert it also showed me that I have an inner strength that I don't realise I have but since that week I now know that there is definitely something that steps up to the mark when we feel like we can't do something, it gives us a little push and ultimately I think we're pushed if it is right for us. I believe that everything that happens to us, whether it be good or bad, happens for a reason, it might not be nice at the time but I think it benefits us because it determines who we become so if anyone reading this right now is feeling down or going through crap in their lives don't worry it won't be forever and it is shaping us into the people we are going to become, it's in our paths for a reason just believe in yourself that you are strong enough to go through it and trust me you are strong enough - have self belief!!

I re-joined my group and I am on week 5 at the moment, in the last 4 weeks I have lost a total of 9 pounds! I am so thrilled with how I am getting on, it's not easy, it requires a lot of dedication, persistence, and hard work....

But do you know what? It's bloody well worth it!! Seeing the number on the scales decrease week after week is worth so much more than a bar of chocolate (and I hope that mentality is here to stay!!)

This time around I feel completely different about the way I am approaching things I have to say that organisation is key. I now plan all my meals in the evening for the next day so I know exactly what it is that I am eating and I stick to this plan. I don't find it too hard really to be honest because I know what I'm going to have next so it isn't a case of  standing at the fridge or the press and wondering "what will I have next?" (From past experience that question is an avalanche of bad choices waiting to happen because it's too easy to grab the quickest thing and have it or have three or four slices of bread while waiting for your food to cook, its not a crime, its just reality and its not easy to sit around and wait for something to cook especially if your stomach is rumbling) therefore plan your meals and never worry about being hungry.

Another change that I have made is the amount of fruit and vegetables I have been eating has increased dramatically, I find it so much harder to eat fruit compared to veg, I'm a real lover of veg and find it very easy to eat it, the same can not be said for fruit but I am trying and I am determined to get there so I keep trying new fruits until I find some that I love to eat!

I also write everything down that I eat on my tracker, even though I have planned my meals I still like to acknowledge what I eat on a daily basis and I think it's a good habit to get into!

I want every single person that is reading this to look to themselves, be proud of who you are, be happy with your individual journeys, even if the weight is slow to come off, that's ok, we're only human it's ok to not stay on plan 100% of the time, it's ok to feel like throwing in the towel every so often heck I have felt like that several times but just remember these are feelings, they come and go and when you feel like this remember why you started this journey, remember how you felt before you started to lose the weight and remember just what it is you want to achieve.

One bad day does not have to lead to one bad week, don't let it, you are in the drivers seat, you have the power to achieve anything you want to do but you can not expect to see a change if you don't make one so go out make a change, a small teeny weeny one and reap in the rewards.

I'm going to set a little challenge for us all, it's five small words but do you know it will make a big difference to you and to the life you live, the words are: Take Small Risks Every Day....

Take a risk, this risk can be as small as you want it to be, start off by aiming small that way it's easier to achieve and you won't feel as if you haven't succeeded, you don't have to broadcast it to the world just do it yourself and I know it can be hard and there will be times when you curse yourself for promising to do it but just try it, I know for me I feel better after it, I'll give you an example last Saturday night I went to a hen party, now to be very honest I'm not great at social events and especially events such as hen parties, I dreaded going but I put on the dress, did my hair and make-up and I went, before I left I asked a friend, a very close friend if I looked ok and their reply had a smile on my face for hours- they said I looked slim!!!!! Their support was enough to keep me on track for going. That night I took the risk and went, I felt uncomfortable, I felt huge and even at stages I felt my eyes well up and I just wanted to cry but the point is I went, I took the risk and I did it. That night when I came home I was looking through photos that were taken during the night and I was so disgusted when I saw myself in them. I didn't recognize the person in the photos so I vowed to never look like that again in a photo and I'm going to aim to get to a stage that when I look in the mirror or look at a photo I see someone that I am happy to be. I am going to turn all the negatives into positives and I challenge you to try and do the same.... you can do it....

Just Remember:

No one ever got to 

the top of a mountain 

in one giant jump. 

Challenges can be overcome, 

and goals can be reached 

but it can only happen 

one step at a time.

Take a Risk and Remember that The Best Project that you will ever work on is you, so work hard, give it your all and be the best possible person that you can be, because in the words of L'Oreal "you're worth it".

Stay Strong,

Little Miss Sunshine 

xxxx

Here's to Fresh Starts and New Beginnings....

Hello Everyone! 

Gosh it's being ages since I last wrote a blog, its been well over a month anyway and I have to say I missed it so much!!! 

It's actually weird to sit down and start back into it again but it's a nice kinda weird even though it involves a lot of other feelings and emotions too.... 

Just a little note on how my weight loss journey has being going, well I would first of all take the word loss out of the equation as I actually haven't lost one ounce but I have gained and gained a good bit.. I hurt my foot therefore exercise went out the window, even walking, normal day to day walking proved to be very painful and I often found myself coming home from work throwing on the slippers and just sitting down because the pain was just so bad, of course I didn't go into the doctor purely out of fear of the obligatory weight talk and even the mention of the word BMI  sends a cold, dead shiver down my spine, deep down I think the pain in my foot is my body telling me to lose some frickin weight because I literally can't hold my weight anymore but not even that was enough to make me cop on.... 

The last few weeks I ate so much s**t, it would make Gillian McKeith of "you are what you eat" have heart palpitations and literally turn her nose up in absolute disgust....  you name it and I probably ate it- I'm talking pastries, biscuits, cakes, coleslaw, potato salad, bread and I ate enough cheese that would make Gerry out of the cartoon "Tom and Gerry" a very jealous mouse indeed!! 

I just kept eating, I didn't give two damns about the effects all this bad food was having on me, I stopped going to group because "I thought I could do it on my own" (hahahaha more fool me and a note to anyone who is thinking along the same sentiments- DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT GIVE UP ON CLASS, trust me you will be sorry you did!) 

I have to say even though I was eating so much I felt kinda content in my life, I was happy which is completely out of character, I didn't feel the usual guilt that I normally associate with over eating, I knew I shouldn't be doing it but I was happy so I adopted the attitude of "to hell with it, I deserve a treat", deep down I felt that lump in my stomach, it's so hard to explain it's kinda like a knot and I have it constantly, it never leaves, it's like my stalker really as no matter how hard I try it will not budge from the pit of my stomach- this knot is, I feel, my guilt, my shame, my embarrassment, my humiliation, my sadness that I have allowed myself to become a girl I no longer recognize as I am covered in layers of fat, when I look in the mirror I can't see anything only my weight, that's all I recognize now and  I feel as if I've abandoned the true me and all for the sake of a bar of f***ing chocolate (how stupid can a person really be, why is it that we feel we can't function in life without food? why do we rely so heavily on food? why do we use food as a crutch when we're happy, sad, tired, excited, nervous?)

Then came the moment of realization that I needed to stop the way I was going... 

On the morning of Saturday the 11th of July, I woke up just like any other morning, got up, threw on the dressing gown and went to the kitchen to make breakfast, I made toast and lathered the butter on in every corner and did it twice just for good measure and to ensure that I left no piece of toast without a bit of butter, after all it would be a tragedy to have a bit of toast without it being fully covered in butter! So far everything was going just fine, I was in good humour thinking of what I would do with my day, I made a cup of coffee and brought it and the toast into the living room, I left them on the coffee table and then I went to sit down on the couch, when I sat down I heard a huge bang, at first I didn't know what it was then I realised that I had broken the couch, I initially started laughing because that's how I deal with nerves, I laugh as I don't know what else to do then after a few seconds of laughing the tears began to flow and realization kicked in of what had just happened- I broke the couch, a big couch, a strong couch, a sturdy couch and I went and broke it.... 

If there was a hole in the ground at that very moment I would of gladly gone into it without a second thought, I wanted to disappear somewhere and never come back, I often read in the magazines of people having a life changing moment when they knew it was time to lose weight but I always thought it would never actually happen, although I still lived in fear of something happening, I was always one step ahead and I took measures to avoid these "moments"-I won't go on a plane out of fear of the seat belt not going around me, I don't go out in case someone comments on my appearance, I won't go shopping or try on clothes in changing rooms in case they don't fit or I can't get anything in my size or getting stuck in something in the changing room and having to call the assistant to cut me out of a dress, I avoid going to theme parks because I have visions of getting stuck in the chair and having to be cut out of it, my passport is out of date the last two years now and I won't even renew it because it would mean that I have to take a photo and I just don't want to be seen like this now, a good friend of mine got me the application form to renew it and i just can't get the photo taken out of pure and utter shame!! There I was taking all these precautions protecting myself from mishaps that may happen on the outside world that when I broke the couch I was utterly devastated because my home was the place I considered to be my safe haven, a place where I could be "safe" and not worry about finding myself in any life changing or embarrassing situations (how wrong I was)

Now people who know me will say "you think your big, your not actually that big" the truth is I am however I do not look anything like the weight that I actually am, sometimes I thank God for that other times I ask why because it nearly gives me a comfort that its not too bad, I have seen people in magazines in their before pictures, they're lighter than me yet they look twice the size and it tricks me into thinking it's not too bad and I eat more but that Saturday was my "moment of realization", it was at that minute that I knew I couldn't keep going on the way I was going because if I did I would be 30 stone before I was 30 and I would probably be in a documentary for Discovery Health about "Ireland's fattest person" or something along them lines and I don't want that.

I can't begin to explain how I felt all day that Saturday, I cried, I cursed, I paced the floor thinking of what I would do, I went to the shop, this is a danger zone (Did anyone else just sing a bit of Kenny Loggins there?!?! Me Too!) for me as I wouldn't take any notice of buying 4 or 5 multi packs of bars and eating them on the way home but that day was different I looked at the chocolate but I no longer had craving for it, I no longer felt as if I needed to have all that chocolate, I no longer saw it as a life saving drug or something that I absolutely had to have in order to function properly. The knot in my stomach was so strong now that I had physical pain and I felt as if I was going to vomit. I was disgusted with myself I thought about so many different options of how to lose weight, I went from thinking about the sensible option of eating less and moving more to a fitness boot-camp out abroad to even looking up gastric bands! 

I decided in the end to just re-join group (the best option I think and the most realistic out of all my options and the most affordable option), I had to join a new group as the other group didn't suit me that week and I didn't want to wait another week because I was in the zone now and I wanted to start and get going.. 

So I went, I was sick with nerves, I drove up and down past the venue for about 15 minutes wondering would I or would I not go, then a strength from within grabbed hold of me and said "Just go", then the thought of the couch came into my mind and I knew I had to go in so I parked and went in, it was in a GAA center so it wasn't just the slimming class there, when I walked thorough the doors I hadn't a clue where to go, I felt like a child again lost and looking to be found, I stood on the floor and just stared into space, I didn't know where to go I was hoping and praying that someone would come along and I could ask, however no one came so I had to look around, I walked towards the first door I saw I went in and to my pure embarrassment I walked into a group of men playing football, I felt just like Bridget Jones when she went to the party dressed up in fancy dress while everyone else was there in their formal wear, when I walked in I froze I didn't know what to do, looking back the most logical thing would of been to just turn around and walk out the door silently and quickly but do you think I did the logical thing?? Of course not! I stood on the floor for what felt like an eternity (even though I think it was less than a minute!!) but given the amount of embarrassment I felt (I could feel my cheeks going a shade of Red that Rudolph would want to have himself for the festive period) I stood there, everyone turned around and just looked at me and I couldn't think of anything to say only "Sorry I'm looking for slimming world, this isn't slimming world" I had a nervous laugh then turned around and went out the door, even going out the door proved a challenge as I was so nervous I just couldn't really get the door to work in my favour and as I walked out the door I'm nearly certain I could hear a little giggle coming from the room, this was enough to make me want to just jump in my car and drive home but the picture of the couch was cemented into my mind and I was not going to give up now.....


I finally saw a sign which lead me in the right direction and I finally got to the right door. I stood outside the door and took a deep breath and walked in, I sat down for the new members talk and I cleared my mind of everything I had heard before and just started fresh... after all this is a new me... When our induction was over I took a seat for the meeting and listened to how everyone had done during the week... I picked up some handy tips and it was nice to hear how other people were getting on with their journey..

After the talk came the hard part- my very own weigh-in, I was so scared stepping up on the scales, then the number flashed up, a number that has never been on the scales before when I stepped on, at that moment my world crumbled around me, I was now the heaviest that I have ever been, I was a weight that an average man would not even be and yet there I was staring at a number that I never ever want to see, it disgusts me, it really does so between seeing the number on the scales and breaking the couch I had enough fire in my belly to give it a proper go this time, I cried all the way home, I cried when I got home, I cried going to sleep and I cried the next day but I was ok with that I think sometimes that has to just be released in order to move on so I let the tears come for as long as I had to... 

On Thursday morning I woke up, I measured my milk for the day (something I never did in my life), I packed my bag with all my meals for the day, which I had planned the night before and I headed off to work, I had my breakfast at work (2 weetabix), this in itself is a big change because I would usually get up at 6 am and not have my breakfast until half 9 or 10 o'clock however not anymore I had my breakfast at 7 am and for my 9.30 break I had fresh fruit and yogurt! Then I had my lunch which was a pre planned meal and dinner was also pre planned.

I planned my meals every day this week, I have filled out a tracker everyday this week (everything went down on the tracker), I have done some form of exercise everyday, even though my foot is still sore so I only do weights and that kind of stuff as walking still is too sore on my foot but I like exercising as it does so much for my head, I just feel so good after it! I have drank more water than usual, however for the coming week this is something that I aim to improve on as I would like to drink more! I'm eating more fruit and veg and being totally honest I feel so good staying on track and sticking to the book... 

I have had a golden week and I am so very proud of myself as I think it is the first time ever that I was so strict with myself, last week at group I said that I aim to lose three pound this week, I hope I achieve this aim as it really would be the icing on the cake (even when I type that I have no craving whatsoever for cake, if that was a few weeks ago I think even typing the word cake would have me salivating at the thought of the word!! so I think I have actually gotten better in that regard! Hooray!) however, if I don't achieve the three pound I just have to carry on because I know in my heart and soul that I have given it 100% and I know that if I continue to give it 100% that I will eventually see the results!

Sorry for the rant, I wanted to write this even though I have to say that I would of found it so much easier not to talk about my embarrassing experience, I felt I had to, I would like anyone who is reading this and feeling that they can not do anything about their weight to please, please, please look at yourself and just say "I can do this and I will do this", I know it's scary, it's hard, it's frustrating, it's emotional, it's tedious, it's boring, it's strict, it can be disappointing, it needs a lot of dedication, hard work, sacrifices have to be made, good habits have to be undertaken, it requires persistence but just think when you get to your goal and you feel that sense of pride and the sense that "yes I achieved this, it took lots of hard work but hell I got there in the end", just close your eyes and picture yourself at goal, think about what you will look like and how you will feel, can you get a warm feeling in your stomach? A sense of excitement? Remember that feeling and any time that you feel like giving up close your eyes and picture yourself at goal. Within you right now at this very moment, as you read this is the power to do things that you thought you could never do, clear them negative thoughts, start to say "out with the negatives and in with the positives" The power that you have is very strong and it can be used by you just as soon as you change your beliefs... 

A negative mind will never giver you a positive life....

Today is the day that you stop:

• Feeling Down
• Living in the Past
• Putting Things Off
• Letting People Use You
• Feeling your a Failure
• Thinking about Long Ago
• Putting up with Nonsense
• Thinking Nobody Wants You
• Thinking You can't do anything right

Today is the day you STOP and the day you start fresh and new!

If anyone is struggling e-mail me: littlemisssunshineisshrinking@gmail.com, 

I'll be your listening ear, you can vent away and if I can help with anything I promise I will try my very best, never feel alone because trust me your not, if you know anyone who needs a little guidance share this with them sometimes all they need to see is that someone else is struggling too to know that it's ok to feel that way...

Don't spend your life counting the days instead make each day count... You were born to make an impact and just remember that each and every positive step you take in the right direction is taking you that one step closer to your goal....

Stay Strong, 

Believe and Trust in Yourself,

Little Miss Sunshine

xxxx

weigh-in 7 and Body Image

Hi Everyone,

Happy Weekend!

It's so hard to believe the weekend is upon us again, the time is absolutely flying by it's crazy!!

This week I couldn't weigh-in I was sick in bed with a double ear infection and chest infection, I would of preferred to be going to weigh-in on Wednesday, I felt so crappy and all I wanted to do was sleep, food didn't even enter my mind (I knew I was very sick when I couldn't eat- not even toast persuaded me to eat- damn cold really had a hold of me!!)

So, this week I'm really conscious of not over-eating and losing the complete run of myself because usually that's what I tend to do after a dose of a flu or cold, self-pity takes over me and I think I "deserve to have nice things especially after being so sick" but not anymore!! 

I've turned over a new leaf and I want to make sure that it's one that's here to stay.

Over the last few weeks I've felt really low and not very optimistic about losing the weight, I've cried, I've ate, I thought about food almost constantly and not the good types of food like apples, oranges and pears oh no I've had cravings for cakes, chocolate and crisps (I don't even like crisps but still craved them WTF!!),  I've had sleepless nights and I've cursed myself several time for ending up the way I have.. 

I basically just came to the conclusion that I absolutely hate the way I look..

This got me thinking about why so many people are so consumed by the way we look and how exactly these thoughts affect our lives day in, day out.

So I bought a book, when I came in with the Easons bag everyone in the house just let out a sigh and the obligatory eye roll followed closely by the "what you buy in Easons today" line but I don't care I'll be the first to admit it I absolutely love buying books they are a guilty pleasure and the way I see it it's not as if I'm spending the money on food so its a gain to my library and a loss to my waist hurray!!! 

The book I bought this time is all about helping a person to feel beautiful and I bought it with the blog in mind because I'm going to read it and any bits I find useful I'll incorporate them into the blog! 

The word "body image" is something that has been plastered across many newspaper headlines and glossy magazine covers in the last couple of years and even more so lately it seems that every time I walk up to the magazine stand in a shop it's pictures of celebrities with bikini bodies that are simply amazing or then on the other scale it's some poor unsuspecting celebrity who may have overindulged on their holiday, like us all and they're photographed with their bikini sewn into them and horrible headlines being written about them, and if it's not the bikini photo opportunity its the slim celebrity standing beside their old larger self in the form of a cardboard cutout telling the world how they lost four or five stone in a  few weeks and with very little effort being required (oh please pull the other one celebrities- it takes a lot of sweat, a lot of tears and sacrifices to lose weight don't sugar coat it making it out to be easy, I've bought the celebrity fitness DVD'S thinking I too could achieve their quick fix and while they're just showing a hint of sweat on their forehead I'm thrown on the ground, red faced, sweat pumping and barely able to breath- not the best look and definitely a note to confine the workout to the comfort to my own home!!)

When we were young we would see body image being portrayed in the form of cartoon characters, the beautiful character was always, slim, always a miss goody two shoes, with the perfect hair, face, body and features, she was usually a princess or had a good career then on the other end of the scale was the villain, usually a short, stumpy, grumpy, mean person with a big nose, bulging eyes, warts and a very ugly personality. In the films it was usually beautiful woman and dashing, handsome men who ruled the day and brought world peace to proceedings while villains were ugly and disfigured and usually ended up going to jail or dying- what does this say to us about body image???

                                                

On the left we have Snow White, a young, beautiful woman who ends up being rescued by the handsome prince and on the right we have the witch, a woman who if full of warts, who is big and ends up being destroyed- which one would you prefer to be? 

Body Image has always played a huge part in our lives even in Early Childhood! 

Then came the era of the Barbie, aah Barbie, the perfect woman, the slim face, perfect blue eyes, long, glossy hair that never looked frizzy or tangled, she had the perfect eyelashes and eye brows, a rock hard torso, the perfect belly button, slim, tight arms a pert bottom and boobs, slim, long legs and her clothes always looked so well on her (yes I know she was a doll but she had a massive impact on the way women felt about themselves so much so that one woman spend thousands of euros on twenty operations, yes you heard right TWENTY operations to look like a life size barbie!!!) I believe that if barbie, this fictional character was indeed a real woman she would in fact be in hospital with severe malnourishment and all kinds of vitamin defencies (then again am I only trying to make myself feel better? who knows!)  Why wouldn't we at the age of 7 or 8 think that Barbie was the best thing since sliced bread, every television ad she was in she was either speeding around in a convertible with her friends and her cute little dog, out shopping buying anything she wanted, obviously not having to consider the financial impact of her spending spree (once again I realize I'm talking about a doll- don't worry I haven't lost the plot!), and when she wasn't shopping or racing in the convertible she was out and about with Ken, her little man friend, who was just a little too cool for school for my liking but Barbie was fond of him and lets face it who would of argued with Barbie? Not one.. Why?.. She was a perfect character who hadn't one flaw and in turn was full of confidence and a force to be reckoned with! 

• Body Image refers to "the way you see yourself and imagine how you look".

By having a positive body image means that, most of the time, you see yourself accurately, you feel comfortable in your own body and you feel good and content about the way you  look.

• 
  
• It is very common to struggle with body image no matter who you are and especially in this day and age when there is so much emphasis placed on the way we look, trends and fashion. 
• 
  
• By having a negative body image is not good and it can lead to serious eating and exercise disorders.
• 
  

We all have a body image. We all have feelings about the way we look. And we have ideas and feelings about how others think about our looks. Your overall body image can range from very positive to very negative. You may feel good about certain parts of your body or the way you look and not as good about others — that’s completely normal!

The next question I want you to answer is this- Do you think you have body image anxieties? 

The following are some questions I found to help you answer this question:

• Do you spend a lot of time focused on one particular aspect of your appearance such as your flabby stomach or big legs?
• Do you feel that part of your body is flawed in some way and that body piece needs to change in order for you to become more accepted e.g. "I need to do sit up's to tone my flabby stomach" or "Squats would help do tone my big thighs and wobbly legs" 
• Do you try to hide the flaw or do you think about constant ways to improve on the flaw?
• Do other people around you try to reassure you that you look fine despite it being very hard for you to see their point of view
• Have you considered surgery to try and fix this flaw?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions please don't worry I know I said yes to every single one of these, I think it's important to know that there's not one person who doesn't care about how they look and if they say they don't I think they're telling a little white lie!! 

Looking after our bodies is a key part of feeling good about ourselves in terms of our emotional and physical health. There are certain times in people's lives when they feel insecure about their bodies and the way they look, this could be after having a baby or if you've recently put on or lost a load of weight, my point is there is always one stage in a person's life when they're not completely happy with the way they look and that's ok however the problem comes when the insecurity of how we look becomes a permanent fixture and takes up every waking moment of your day, this is not a good situation to find ourselves in and being 100% honest this is the situation I find myself in.

By having negative image can inspire distorted perceptions of how shape, size and the way in which we accept ourselves both how we see ourselves and how the people around us see ourselves. 

I personally see my flaws as a sign that I have failed in life, making me unhappy in my own life and I often tell myself that "I'd be so much happier if I was thin" or "If I was thin things would be different" 

For me I can see myself as having many flaws and it is so hard to actually sit down and just name one or two because I feel there is nothing that I can pick as a positive, yet when I look at others I can see so many positives and reasons why they should be happy within themselves. I looked it up on the internet and some common areas that people with body images tend to focus on are: 

• Facial Features such as our nose, eyes, teeth, hairs, ears, mouth or lips
• The shape of our face
• Our weight, whether we feel too big or too small
• Believing we're too flabby, too toned in a certain area and not toned enough in another area
• Our Skin can get us down whether it be us having acne, moles, skin tags, wrinkles, stretch marks 
• We might feel or hair is too thin or too thick or we might have excess hair on our face or body
• We might zone in on one or more areas of our bodies we're not happy about such as our stomach, legs, arms, bum, thighs, feet, our neck, our face, our foreheads, having scars somewhere on our body and face the possibilities are endless and vary from person to person
• Some of might even be conscious about our height believing we're too tall or too small.

By having pre-occupations with our body image it can impact massively on our day-to-day living, it takes up an awful lot of time and it tends to have a negative impact on our family, social and romantic relationships, personally I know I avoid going out on night outs and even to the cinema, concerts, going to see friends or shopping because I feel so self-conscious about being seen out in public, I never feel I look nice enough to go anywhere and when I do go I constantly find myself comparing myself to others and thinking that everyone is talking about me, a few weeks ago I made a conscious decision to try and nip this in the bud I promised myself that I would try and stop thinking this way and stop comparing myself to other however, I found this very hard and even when I did stop the thoughts and was patting myself on the back I realised I was comparing myself to others even without me consciously knowing it!! 

I compare myself to everyone around me and this makes me feel very insecure being around other people, worrying about my self-image distracts me from the outside world, it stops me from starting new relationships because I am so scared about being judged or laughed at, I abstain from talking about the way I feel because if people knew I was thinking about the way I look a lot of the time they would think I was a vain, self-absorbed b***h, and even if I get a compliment I find it very hard to accept it as I think the person who spoke such kind words about me are only saying it "to be nice" or "to make me feel better about myself", it's such an awful way to be, I know it is yet why do I find it so bloody hard to change?? 

It also impacts my work life, I would love to go to college, I'd love to have a degree yet I'm afraid to go for it because of the fear of rejection or a fear of not being able to go to lectures because I would feel I am not good enough. When at work (I work in childcare) I feel I am not good enough for the job I feel that if I was thinner I would be better able to keep up and be more energetic. By being constantly focused on my physical defects it has resulted in my self-esteem being shattered, my self-worth is basically zilch, and it's not a nice feeling... 

Our childhood beliefs play a massive impact on the way in which we view ourselves now as adults. Above I mentioned Barbie and childhood fictional characters, why wouldn't we believe that these fictional characters had the perfect lives when the beautiful princess always came out on top or Barbie drove the top of the range cars and had a fantastic life. Of course we associate beauty with good and ugly with evil after all isn't this what the fairy tales led us to believe? We walk past shop windows and we see the mannequins on the windows, why wouldn't we believe this is the way we should look, this is the figure we should strive to have when it's what the way the mannequins are or it's the way the models on the catwalk look like, we are put under pressure to look like this, even when it comes to buying clothes plus size is now being advertised as ranging from size 14 to 32, SIZE 14!!!!! Imagine the impact this has on a woman who has gone from size 28 or 26 to a 14, after all her hard work she is still defined as being plus size, this angers me and saddens me instead of feeling proud of what they have achieved, women are still being scrutinized and judged for being size 14.....

When we grow up we accept what we've been told because we know no different, we have no basis for comparison, the beliefs and impressions we have of the world as well as the view we have of ourselves and of others are all formed when we were young. Our beliefs tend to be centered around ideas of self-worth, achievement, acceptance and love-ability, children as young as five now know and recognize the difference between right and wrong and by the age of seven children are able to show dissatisfaction about their bodies- think about that for a second, a seven year old worrying about how they look and how other perceive them. Then come the teenage years and we all know how crappy this can be and it can be just a river of potential insecurities.... 

I often hear people saying that if a person was ever teased about their appearance as a child it stays with them forever, because it may have instigated beliefs that will lead to having a profound effect on your self-esteem as an adult. All it takes is one negative comment, just one to have a haunting effect on a person for many years to come and even though they're only opinions it actually doesn't matter because these opinions can turn into facts in that person's head thus in turn forming the basis of beliefs that we hold of ourselves. 

Our fear of rejection and want to belong fuel our body image anxieties, our appearance can become the focus of our attention if we are under pressure or unhappy in other aspects of our lives, if we are emotionally distressed our body is such an easy target because it's always there but no matter how much we strive for physical satisfaction won't actually fix things for us if we do not deal with the underlying issue, how many times have we lost a bit of weight and thought it would solve all our problems only to find it actually made no difference because something else was making us unhappy that's why its so important that when we are on our weight loss journey that we not only focus on losing weight we also have to look at all aspects of our lives and identify areas that are bringing us down, we need to have calm and tranquility running through all areas of life, that way when we lose weight we can actually enjoy the results of our hard work!! 

Since the day the world began people have strived to be the best they possibly can be and appearance plays a part in this too, people like to look their best and to be honest who can blame them, don't they deserve to want to look good? We are living in a culture that is obsessed with looks so much so that we often forget to look beyond the face and look into the soul and personality of a person, being attractive is not just about looking nice it's as they describe in the x-factor as having "the full package" so if you're an absolutely stunning looking person fair play however it's no good if you're a d**k head so for me attractiveness is not only about the look of a person, it's also their personality, their manner, their style, their body language, their sense of humour and their intelligence. 

In our look obsessed society sometimes these very important aspects of a person are often over looked or seen as not being too important but how many times have we seen someone so attractive and when we got talking to them their physical appearance changes when we get to know them because they're arrogant and self-centered.... same can be said for someone who we thought was average looking they could turn out to be the most beautiful person in the room with their kind nature and fun sense of humour.... 

Never judge a book by it's cover...... 

If your dream of a better life are centered on improving our appearance we will never actually appreciate what we have now and what exactly is happening to us now in the present moment. Our life is not actually being damaged by the way we look but rather by the way we feel about the way we look. 

Recognizing the difference between the way we look compared to the way we think we look is the first step to feeling more beautiful.....

It's not our body's that are holding us back it's actually the way we are feeling about our body that is holding us back.

Our appearance and how we look and feel should not define who we are.....

An exercise I saw which helps someone to feel more beautiful is to write down the reasons why it is you want to feel beautiful, this list can be as long or as short as you want it to be, the length of it doesn't matter however it is important that it is true to you and it is something that you want for YOU!! 

Things that you might want to write down may include you want to be more confident, you want to feel good about yourself or you want to stop feeling that you are not good enough or you want to stop comparing yourself to others, whatever it is it's the reasons why you want to feel beautiful no one else but you, I know that doing this list can be hard but it's important I'm going to do it and when I have it done I'm going to put it somewhere that I can access it easily and whenever I'm struggling with negative thoughts I can refer back to this and remind myself of the reasons why it is that I am distancing myself from them thoughts. 

This list is something new and it is battling with the thoughts and beliefs that we have had for many years, they're not going to disappear over night but they will do hopefully over time! There will be times when I know I will want to just go back to my little " safe haven" of hating myself but I have to push beyond this feeling, look at my list and realise why it is that I am doing this and all the wonderful and fabulous things I am going to gain by feeling good about myself! 

Carrie Bradshaw once said " Don't Forget to fall in love with yourself first" and she also said "Eventually all the pieces fall into place... until then laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and know that everything happens for a reason" 

For one woman Miss Carrie Bradshaw was a smart cookie!! 

I'm going to attach a video that is sung by Nicole Scherzinger, its called "Until you love you" I love the song, it's emotional and the lyrics are so true, so very true indeed "Take a look in the mirror you're beautiful"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6HWjCi-wzI

Sorry for the long rant.. it was one of those days...

Once again thank you so much for taking the time to read it and remember I am contactable through e-mail if ye ever need anything...

Make Good Choices,

Little Miss Sunshine

xxxxx